The Finals Lament

So here I am, sitting in a small library cubicle feeding useless information through my tired brain. It most certainly doesn't help my zombie bewilderment to ask any sort of "why" questions like, "What in the hell is all this for?" Goddamn. It happened again...when I attempt to conjure up an answer to this question, my eyes shoot up to the ceiling and I lean back in my chair. Once again, after five or so minutes of 'thorough' studying my productivity is at a standstill.

Motivation.

What can I draw from my motivation to excell in some of my OTHER life pursuits as opposed to excelling in this semster's academics? Is my motivation based on the degree to which something captivates me? A sense of pride that follows independent knowledge? ...maybe.

As individuals we should only absorb a certain amount of information from lectures, classes, advisors, counselors, parents, lawyers, etc., before unearthing our own knowledge. In other words, drawing conclusions leads to ignorance, especially when we rely on others to provide that information...and yes, even omniscient professors.

Here, you may be wondering if im trying to wrap myself in a huge satisfaction blanket' (which deflects the opinions and insights of others) and why I'm looking down at the meager humans from my ivory tower.

*I'm really not trying to hand down life lessons.

But how much can one really say he/she knows if there is no rudiment knowledge of the groundwork? ...not a whole lot. Instead, in a wash of fastidious bullet points in my studying these last couple of weeks, I've learned when Charles Dickins birthday is, the year Moby Dick was published, and where he went to college. Hmm...congratulations Dad, your investment in my college career has endowed me with the preparation I need for the 'real world.' Down the road when my superior asks why I failed to properly load the fry-ilator, I can proudly remark, "Charle Dickins made of the first references to French Fries in a Tale of Two Cities."

I know he'll be impressed.

"I went to college but they taught me to lose oversight and focus on facts!"

The influx of these fact-based business survey courses has flooded my brain to terminal capacity. The evils lie in the names, dates, and other trivial tediums which have melted my neurotransmitters into a gooey slime. However, if I have a strong conceptual understanding of
the topic, shouldn't I be equally as rewarded as some schmuck who spends his time regurgitating facts?

The Economics T.A.'s relentlessly harped on statistics, demographics, and chronologies that have no applicable purpose other than to supposedly evaluate knowledge. I say bullshit! How does an ability to spout these arbitrary numbers and letters affect how much I actually know about the material?

Not a fucking thing.

After being here for 4 years, I've learned that college is nothing but deadlines and stresses, and students ability to meet them...course material is secondary. BAH!

--Congrats to those who (almost) graduated. You know who you are.